


Sherlock (x Reader) Chatroom

by SimplyElementary



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Reader-Insert, chatroom, the reader has to deal with sherlock and crazy stuff happens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 07:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11248722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyElementary/pseuds/SimplyElementary
Summary: Life at 221B Baker Street is never boring. Well, I suppose at one point it was, because you decided to make a chatroom for all of your friends to go on. Try to stay patient with Sherlock doing experiments and Mycroft always hacking into your computer. Good luck! Rated T for language.





	1. Stop Messing With Anderson

(y/n) has logged on.

(y/n) has started a chatroom.

John has logged on.

Sherlock has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

(y/n): Hey guys!

John: Hi (y/n)!

Lestrade: Hey!

Sherlock: Hello.

Mycroft has logged on.

Sherlock: Okay, who invited him?

Mycroft: Thanks.

(y/n): I did. He's nice.

Mary has logged on.

Mary: Hello everyone!

(y/n): Hi!

Sherlock: Okay, now that you're here, Mary, I want to discuss something with you and John.

John: What's that?

Sherlock: Sherlock is a girl's name.

John: Sherlock, we are not naming our daughter after you!

Sherlock: But-

John: And no, your name is not a girl's name!

Sherlock: ...but it could be.

John: *facepalm*

Moriarty has logged on.

Sherlock: 0_0

Mycroft: 0_0

John: 0_0

Mary: 0_0

Lestrade: 0_0

Moriarty: Hello, Sherlock.

Sherlock: (y/n), did you invite him?!

(y/n): What?! No! I didn't even know he was alive!

John: ...how exactly are you alive?

Moriarty: I have my ways.

John: Care to be more specific?

Moriarty: Hmm... no.

Moriarty has logged off.

Sherlock: ...What the hell...?

(y/n): Yeah, pretty much.

Anderson has logged on.

Anderson: Okay, who keeps on emailing me gay porn?!

(y/n): Sherlock

Sherlock: (y/n)

John: LOL

Mycroft: That is actually funny.

Lestrade: hahaha lol

Anderson: Lestrade, make them stop!

Lestrade: No, I'm actually going to help them.

(y/n): Join us!

Anderson: AUGH MY EYES ARE BURNING

John: LOL

Mary: lol

Mycroft: :D

Anderson: STOP IT PLEASE

(y/n): Mwahahahaha!

Sherlock: > : )

Molly has logged on.

Molly: Sherlock, I got a call from Anderson - stop emailing him gay porn!

Sherlock: But-

Molly: No buts. Stop it.

Sherlock: ...fine.

John: *cough* whipped *cough*

Sherlock: Shut up John!

Anderson: OKAY (Y/N) I KNOW IT'S YOU EMAILING ME NOW STOP IT

(y/n): NEVER!!

John: You are an evil person.

(y/n): I know.

Mycroft: I'm curious - why did you start this chatroom in the first place?

(y/n): Sherlock kept texting me from the other room complaining about how bored he was.

Mycroft: Yeah, he would do that.

Sherlock: Hey!

(y/n): What?! It's true.

Lestrade: Hey, there's been a suicide over on Central Avenue.

Sherlock: FINALLY! ANOTHER CASE!

Sherlock has logged off.

John: Okay, okay, I'm coming.

John has logged off.

Mycroft has logged off.

Lestrade has logged off.

(y/n) has logged off.

Chatroom has closed.


	2. (y/n) Hates Taxes (and Mycroft, but that's besides the point)

(y/n) has logged on.

(y/n) has started a chatroom.

John has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

Sherlock has logged on.

(y/n): Hey Mycroft, could you get me out of paying taxes for the rest of my life? (A/N: Do people in the UK have to pay taxes? I'm not sure)

Mycroft: Yes, I could.

(y/n): Will you?

Mycroft: No.

(y/n): But why not?!

Mycroft: You need to learn the value of money!

(y/n): But I have!

Sherlock: I found a fake credit card in your flat yesterday.

(y/n): Sherlock, stay out of this!

(y/n): Wait - YOU BROKE INTO MY FLAT?!

Sherlock: ...no.

(y/n): *sigh* But, please! 

Mycroft: No.

(y/n): Please?!

Mycroft: My answer will not change.

Lestrade has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Molly has logged on.

(y/n): FINE! BE THAT WAY! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN!

Mycroft: Fine!

Mycroft has logged off.

(y/n): I swear, I'm gonna kill him!

John: HIDE THE KNIVES!

Lestrade: Uh... did we miss something?

John: Yeah, Mycroft won't let (y/n) get out of paying taxes for the rest of her life.

Lestrade: Oh.

(y/n): > : )

Sherlock: Well shit. (y/n), did you kill my brother?

(y/n): Nope. I have a better idea.

(y/n) has logged off.

John: Well great. What is she gonna do now?

~ TEN MINUTES LATER ~

Mycroft has logged on.

(y/n) has logged on.

Mycroft: NOOOO!!!!

(y/n): > : )

John: (y/n)... what did you do?

(y/n): Oh, nothing.

Mycroft: LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING!

Lestrade: Okay, seriously, what did you do?

(y/n): I burned all of his umbrellas.

Sherlock: LOL

John: Oh my gosh! :D

Lestrade: hahahaha

Mary: :D

Sherlock: What is he doing now?

(y/n): Right now he's rocking back and forth in the fetal position saying 'why' over and over again and muttering about how life isn't fair.

John: I think you broke him!

Sherlock: YES! BLACKMAIL!

(y/n): Mycroft, can you get me out of paying taxes now?

Mycroft: Ugh, fine!

(y/n): mwahahaha

Lestrade: Let's all agree to not mess with (y/n). Ever.

Mycroft: Agreed.

~ EXTENDED ENDING ~

Mycroft has logged on.

Mycroft: WHO BLEW UP MY BRAND NEW UMBRELLA WITH DYNAMITE?!

(y/n): LOL!


	3. Experiment Gone Wrong

John has logged on.

John has started a chatroom.

Mary has logged on.

Sherlock has logged on.

Molly has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

(y/n) has logged on.

(y/n): I'M SPINNING AROUND IN A WHEELIE CHAIR IT'S SO FUN!! WHEEEEE!!!!!

Mycroft: ...what the hell...?

John: Sherlock, what did you do?

Sherlock: What?! Why do you think I did something?

John: *cough* ofcourseyoudid *cough*

Sherlock: ...it's an experiment.

Lestrade: Sherlock... what did you do to (y/n)?

Sherlock: I gave her a Monster energy drink.

John: Shit. Do you know how hyper (y/n) gets off of those?

Sherlock: I'm starting to get an idea.

Lestrade: Thank god I don't have to worry about this, I'm at wor--

Lestrade: (Y/N) WHY ARE YOU IN MY OFFICE?!

(y/n): because I can be

Lestrade: UNLOCK THE DOOR!

(y/n): Hmm... NO!

Lestrade: Dammit.

Sherlock: I'm starting to see how this might have been a bad idea.

John: No shit, Sherlock. (A/N: Yes, I just did that. Sorry, not sorry.)

Lestrade: DID YOU JUST BREAK THE WINDOW!

(y/n): Yeah, I threw the clock at it.

Lestrade: Why?!

(y/n): cause I wanted to see if time could fly

John: Did it?

(y/n): No it just hit a pigeon

John: *facepalm*

Lestrade: Uh, guys? (y/n) just climbed out of the window and down the fire escape...

Sherlock: Shit.

John: We need to get her!

Mycroft: (y/n), where are you going?

(y/n): somewhere

Mycroft: Well that's helpful.

(y/n): lol I can tell you. I'M GOING TO SHERLOCK AND JOHN'S FLAT! lolol

John: Dammit!

(y/n): Hi boys!

Sherlock: What are you doi--

John: 0_0

Mary: John? What's happening?

John: It's Sherlock...

Lestrade: What's going on?

John: He's kind of pinned between (y/n) and the wall...

Mycroft: Dear God.

John: Yes, exactly.

Sherlock: HELP ME!

John: No, I'm leaving.

Sherlock: GET BACK HERE!

John: Hey, this was your idea in the first place. You should have known!

(y/n): I love your hair it's so soft

Sherlock: SOMEONE HELP ME DAMMIT

Sherlock: ...

Lestrade: What?

Sherlock: She just fell asleep.

Mycroft: Thank god.

Lestrade: Sherlock?

Sherlock: Yes?

Lestrade: You should never give her an energy drink. Ever.

Sherlock: Agreed.

\- EXTENDED ENDING -

The next morning...

(y/n) has logged on.

(y/n) has started a chatroom.

Lestrade has logged on.

John has logged on.

Sherlock has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

(y/n): Does anyone know what happened yesterday afternoon? I can't remember.

Mycroft: Sherlock gave you a Monster energy drink.

(y/n): Okay, it can't be that bad.

John: You broke into Lestrade's office, broke his window with a clock, climbed out of the window, came to Sherlock's flat, pinned him against the wall, and tried to make out with him.

(y/n): Oh god.

John: Yes, exactly.


	4. Anderson Gets His Revenge

(y/n) has logged on.

(y/n) has started a chatroom.

Sherlock has logged on.

John has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

Sherlock: Hello, John, Mary, Mycroft, (y/n), Graham.

John: ...Graham?

Lestrade: It's not Graham, how hard is it to remember my name?!

Mycroft: Sorry, George, my brother is an idiot.

Lestrade: IT'S GREG, DAMMIT!

Mycroft: Oh.

Moriarty has logged on.

Sherlock: Okay, who invited HIM?!

(y/n): I did.

John: WHY?!

(y/n): He's interesting.

Lestrade: He's a criminal mastermind!

(y/n): Like I said - interesting.

John: *facepalm*

(y/n): Plus we both love The Lion King.

Moriarty: Hakuna Matata!

(y/n): *fist bump*

Moriarty: *returns fist bump*

John: What the heck...?

(y/n): Jim do you want some tea?

Moriarty: Sure

(y/n): Here

Moriarty: thanks!

John: Wait - IS HE AT YOUR FLAT?!

(y/n): Maybe... why?

John: HE'S A CRIMINAL! MAKE HIM LEAVE!

(y/n): I can make my own decisions!

John: Not when I'm your older brother, you can't! Now make him leave!

Moriarty: ansnjsansmsk

Sherlock: (y/n) did you kill him

(y/n): No, I just gave him some tea. I don't know what's wrong with him!

Mycroft: He's at your flat - may I point out how incredibly stupid that is?

(y/n): No.

Moriarty: I LOVE PINK FLUFFILY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS

Moriarty: (YYYY/NNNN)

Moriarty: CAN I BE A UNICORN

(y/n): Yeah, okay maybe.

Moriarty: I WANNA BE A UNICORN!!! SANTA CAN I BE A UNICORN????

(y/n): I'm filming this.

(y/n) has posted a video.

Mycroft: I take it back, this is brilliant.

John: LOL

Sherlock: :D

Lestrade: hahahaha

(y/n): hehehsksaksn hehe

Sherlock: Oh shit.

John: MORIARTY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SISTER?!

Moriarty: I just gave herr soime teaaaa

Moriarty: its real good tea hehe kdlk

(y/n): HAKUNA MATATA NOWORRIES 

Lestrade: Great, now she's wasted too.

Mycroft: Someone is knocking on my door.

(y/n): hi my!!

Mycroft: (y/n), what are you doing he--

Mycroft: mmmpphhhh

Sherlock: What's going on?

Mycroft: GET HER OFFOF ME MPHPHM

Lestrade: I'm going over there.

John: MYCROFT I WILL KILL YOU

Mycroft: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?MHPDSHP

John: Because my sister is kissing you!

Lestrade: Okay, I just got he--

Lestrade: Oh my god.

Lestrade has posted a picture.

John: SHERLOCK WHERE IS MY GUN

(y/n): oh hi greggy!!

Mycroft: Finally! She stopped!

Lestrade: Oh shi--mpgpdndjndh

John: I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU

Sherlock: Okay, let me fix this. I'm going over.

Sherlock: Okay, I'm here--

Sherlock: Dear God, Lestrade! She's snogging your face off!

John: WHAT?!?!

Sherlock: Yeah, she'--mphpshsm

Sherlock: GET OFF OF ME MPHKFOPH

(y/n): mpfjsjdbfjddh

Sherlock: She fell asleep.

John: Sherlock? Mycroft? Lestrade?

Lestrade: Yes?

John: I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU!

John has logged off.

Lestrade: I'm scared

Mrs. Hudson has logged on.

Mrs. Hudson: John just ran out of the flat with a rifle. What's going on?

Sherlock: OH SHIT HE'S GOT A RIFLE

Mycroft: RUN!

Lestrade: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!

Sherlock has logged off.

Lestrade has logged off.

Mycroft has logged off.

(y/n) has logged off.

Mrs. Hudson has logged off.

Anderson has logged on.

Anderson: Mwahahaha

Anderson has logged off.

Chatroom has closed.


	5. Poor John

Lestrade has logged on.

Lestrade has started a chatroom.

(y/n) has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

John has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

Sherlock has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

Lestrade: :D :D OH MY GOSH! John, your blog! HAHAHAHAHAHA

John: Sorry, what?

Lestrade: the thing you just posted! :D LOL

John: The last thing I posted was two days ago.

Lestrade has posted a screenshot.  
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8thcuWhQD1qm4vweo1_500.jpg

Mycroft: LOL

Mary: :D

Moriarty: bwahahahahaaha

(y/n): HAHAHA OHMYGOSH LOL

John: DAMMIT, SHERLOCK!

Sherlock has logged on.

Anderson has logged on.

John: Sherlock, what the hell?!

(y/n): Why did you let Anderson on?

(y/n): Wait... did you guys team up?

Sherlock: Maybe.

(y/n): But you guys hate each other!

Sherlock: Yeah, but John's face was priceless.

(y/n): Where are you two, anyway?

Sherlock: At the flat.

John: SHERLOCK, OPEN THE DOOR!

Anderson: He told me to tell you that he isn't talking with you, and that he won't let you in.

John: SHERLOCK, LET ME IN RIGHT NOW! DON'T MAKE ME KNOCK THE DOOR DOWN!

Anderson: He says he doubts you're strong enough to do that, and that he'll barricade the door if he has to.

John: SHERLOCK!

Mrs. Hudson has logged on.

Mrs. Hudson: Hello, dear. I'm hearing shouting upstairs. Is everything alright?

(y/n): Sherlock and Anderson have locked John out of the apartment.

Mrs. Hudson: Oh. Well, John, I'm going to the store. I'll leave the door unlocked if you need anything.

Mrs. Hudson has logged off.

Sherlock has sent a private message to (y/n).  
*(y/n), would you be able to go to Mrs. Hudson's flat and stay there and lock the door?*

(y/n) has sent a private message to Sherlock.  
*Why of course. > : )*

Lestrade: What are you two up to?

(y/n): Oh, nothing...

John: Sherlock, open the door. This is childish!

Anderson: He says that pounding on the door won't change anything.

John: Screw you, Sherlock. I'm going to Mrs. Hudson's.

John: What the heck...?

John: (y/n), is that you in there laughing? DID YOU LOCK THE DOOR?!

(y/n): Maybe...

John: I TRUSTED YOU!

(y/n): Yeah, that was a mistake.

John: But you were at Scotland Yard, and you told me you took the bus this morning. Who drove you here?

(y/n): Look outside.

John: MYCROFT, WHAT THE HELL?!

Mycroft: Yes?

John: You did this?!

Mycroft: It wasn't my original idea, no. I did help, though.

John: WHY IS EVERYONE PLOTTING AGAINST ME?!

(y/n): Because we can.

\- THE NEXT MORNING -

John has logged on.

John has started a chatroom.

Sherlock has logged on.

(y/n) has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Anderson has logged on.

John: I hate you all.

Sherlock: Why's that?

John: Because of all of you, I had to sleep on a park bench last night.

Lestrade: LOL

Mycroft: :D

Sherlock: hahahahahaha 

(y/n): lolol

John: Wait... Mrs. Hudson should have been back from shopping by then. Why didn't she let me in?

Sherlock: ...

(y/n): ...

Anderson: ...

Mycroft: ...

John: OH MY GOD, SHE WAS IN ON IT TOO, WASN'T SHE?!

(y/n): LOL!

Sherlock: haha

Mycroft: :D

Lestrade: bwahahaha

John: I need new friends.

John has logged off.

Sherlock has logged off.

(y/n) has logged off.

Moriarty has logged off.

Anderson has logged off.

Mycroft has logged off.

Mary has logged off.

Chatroom has closed.


	6. The Competition

John has logged on.

John has started a chatroom.

Sherlock has logged on.

(y/n) has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

(y/n): Just a warning; John is still really mad about the tea incident.

Lestrade: That wasn't even our fault!

(y/n): He's still pissed, though.

John: (y/n), if you date any of them, I will kill them.

(y/n): See?

Sherlock: I wonder which one of us she would date...

*pause*

Mycroft: It would be me.

Lestrade: Are you kidding? It would be me.

Sherlock: You two are both idiots, it would definitely be me.

(y/n): Do I have a say in this...?

Lestrade: Why would she date you, Sherlock? Everyone you meet wants to punch you in the face.

(y/n): Apparently not...

Sherlock: That's their problem, not mine.

Mycroft: She would date me. I'm the British government.

Sherlock: Yeah, and you're obsessed with umbrellas. I'm pretty sure you're dating one.

Mycroft: Well, how do we know that you're not dating John?

Sherlock: What

John: Do not bring me into this!

John: And I'm married! Gosh!

Lestrade: It could be a cover up to try to hide your true feelings...

Mary: LOL

John: Screw all of you!

John has logged off.

Mary: I was just kidding!

Mary has logged off.

Sherlock: Why would she date you two anyway? You're both old!

Mycroft: Excuse me

Lestrade: I'm not old!

Sherlock: You have gray hair.

Lestrade: ...It's not gray... it's silver... gosh...

Mycroft: Why on earth would she date you, Sherlock?

Sherlock: MY HAIR IS AMAZING!

Mycroft: YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE A DIRTY MOP!

Sherlock: AT LEAST I HAVE HAIR!

Mycroft: ...

Lestrade: Oh burn

Moriarty: Shit just went down

Mycroft: I will kill you

Sherlock: Psh, I'm not afraid of you.

(y/n): Instead of arguing, just ask me instead! Are you really that stupid?!

Sherlock: (y/n)?!

Lestrade: We kind of forgot you were here...

(y/n): Yeah. Well, for the record, I wouldn't date any of you.

Sherlock: ...

Lestrade: ...

Mycroft: ...

(y/n): Yeah.

(y/n): THE NEWEST EPISODE OF DOCTOR WHO IS ON! Gotta go!

(y/n) has logged off.

Lestrade has logged off.

Moriarty has logged off.

Sherlock: My hair doesn't look like a dirty mop...

Mycroft: LOL! Yeah, it does.

Sherlock: At least I'm not an old man.

Sherlock has logged off.

Mycroft: ...am not...

Mycroft has logged off.

Chatroom has closed.


	7. (y/n) has a Fangirl Side

(y/n) has started a chatroom.

John has logged on.

Sherlock has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

(y/n): GUYS! GUYS! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST FOUND!

Moriarty: Dear mother of god, you didn't go on tumblr again, did you?

(y/n): Nope, I found something much better.

John: I'm scared to ask... what's that?

(y/n): MYSTRADE!

Moriarty: LOL

John: ...

Sherlock: Is that like a disease or something?

(y/n): *facepalm* No. It's called a ship. It's when you want two people to be together romantically. It's Lestrade's and Mycroft's names put together.

Sherlock: ...

Sherlock: OH GOD

(y/n): AND I FOUND FANART AND FANFICTION!

Sherlock: Why on earth would you be happy about this?!

(y/n): Dude, this is the blackmail material of the century!

*pause*

Sherlock: (Y/N) YOU'RE AMAZING

(y/n): I know

John: I ship it

(y/n): *facepalm*

Mycroft has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

Mycroft: Hello.

(y/n): Oh... hi Mycroft...

Mycroft: Okay, what did I miss?

Sherlock: Oh nothing...

Lestrade: What are you two up to?

John: We should be asking you the same thing...

Lestrade: ???

(y/n): Look up the word Mystrade

Mycroft: Why?

(y/n): Just do it

Mycroft: Okay...?

Mycroft has logged off.

Lestrade has logged off.

~ A FEW MINUTES LATER ~

Lestrade has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

Lestrade: I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE

Mycroft: I OFFICIALLY HATE THE INTERNET

Moriarty: LOL!

Mary: :D

Sherlock: hahahahaha

(y/n): Did you guys see the fanart?

Mycroft: What fanart?

(y/n) has posted a picture.

Lestrade: DEAR MOTHER OF GOD

Mycroft: WHO MAKES THIS STUFF?!

(y/n): People who ship you! LOL

Lestrade: I want to rip my eyes out...

(y/n): Oh, you think this is bad? Wait til you see the Johnlock stuff...

Moriarty: LOL

Sherlock: What

John: Excuse me

(y/n) has posted a picture.

Lestrade: LOL!

Mycroft: hahahahaha

Sherlock: AUGH MY EYES

John: I'M MARRIED!

(y/n): You only got married to hide your true feelings!

Mary: LOL

Mycroft: hahaahaha

Lestrade: Payback's a bitch, ain't it, Sherlock?

Sherlock: Shut up Lestrade

(y/n): I ship Johnlock

Moriarty: Ohmygosh I do too!

(y/n): What if John and Sherlock were able to have kids

Mary: Aww, so adorable!

John: TRAITOR!

Moriarty: Oh dear god - think about it - a bunch of mini Sherlocks

*pause*

(y/n): I DON'T SHIP IT ANYMORE

Lestrade: lol!

John: Okay, can we all agree on one thing?

(y/n): What's that?

John: Let's never look up fanart and fanfiction online ever again.

Sherlock: Agreed.

Lestrade: Agreed.

Mycroft: Agreed.

(y/n): Aww.....

John: *gives (y/n) an i'm-tired-of-your-bullshit-now-agree-with-me look*

(y/n): *gives John an i-don't-care-what-you-think look*

John: *gives (y/n) an i-don't-care-stop-it look*

(y/n): *high fives John's face*

Lestrade: Okay, you two, stop with the chatroom abuse.

(y/n): Fine...

John: But seriously - no fanfiction or tumblr anymore.

(y/n): Fine

~ EXTENDED ENDING ~

John has logged on.

John: WHO EMAILED ME A JOHNLOCK LEMON?!

(y/n): hahahahaha


	8. Sherlock Needs His Cigarettes

Sherlock has logged on.

Sherlock has started a chatroom.

(y/n) has logged on.

John has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

Sherlock: WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

(y/n): Sherlock, we all know there hasn't been any cases in almost a week, but one will turn up soo--

Sherlock: I NEED MY CIGARETTES

(y/n): Sherlock, no.

Sherlock: PLEASE!!

(y/n): No! Cold turkey, we all agreed.

Sherlock: That's a stupid idea, who's idea was that?

(y/n): Uh, yours.

Sherlock: ...

*pause*

Sherlock: THEY HAVE TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE

John: Sherlock, you've been doing really well, don't give up now!

Sherlock: JOHN WHERE ARE THEY

John: Not telling, sorry.

Sherlock: please *gives john this media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236… look* (A/N: awww ajksskjsk)

John: Still no.

Mrs. Hudson has logged on.

Mrs. Hudson: I heard yelling, is everything alright?

Sherlock: MY CIGARRETES!

Mrs. Hudson: I'm sorry?

Sherlock: MY SECRET SUPPLY OF CIGARRETES, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THEM?!

Mrs. Hudson: I don't know, I'm not your housekeeper!

Sherlock: UGH THEY HAVE TO BE HERE SOMEWHERE

Mrs. Hudson has logged off.

Sherlock: I'M GOING TO BUY SOME

John: Sherlock, no! I'm not going to let you go--

Sherlock: I SAID LET ME LEAVE

John: 0_0

Lestrade: John? What's going on?

John: Sherlock left...

(y/n): What?! Why'd you let him leave?!

John: HE HAS MY GUN

(y/n): Well shit

Mycroft: We need to set up a perimeter. Nobody in a two mile radius will sell him any, if he gets farther than that...

Lestrade: I'll set up a perimeter!

(y/n): I'll try to convince him not to go anywhere.

John: But (y/n), he want cigarettes and he has a gun!

(y/n): It's okay, I have an idea.

Sherlock: DAMMIT

John: What?

Sherlock: NOBODY IS GIVING ME ANY CIGARETTES!

Lestrade: That's your fault, you paid everyone off and convinced them not to give you any--

Sherlock: SHUT UP GREG

Lestrade: Oh my gosh! He got my name right! :D

Lestrade: I think I'm gonna cry

Moriarty: Ewww man tears

(y/n): Sherlock, give me the gun!

Sherlock: NO!

(y/n): If you surrender, I'll tell you where the cigarettes are.

Lestrade: WHAT?!

John: (Y/N) DON'T DO THIS!

Sherlock: HOW MANY ARE THERE

(y/n): 72.

Sherlock: OKAY I SURRENDER NOW GIVE ME THE CIGARRETES 

(A/N: did you guys see that reference? I have a problem don't I... nevermind)

Sherlock: askjsjksklsklsms

Mycroft: (y/n) did you kill my brother

(y/n): No, just punched him in the face. He's out cold.

John: Well, now what do we do with him?

(y/n): Hmm...

~ 15 MINUTES LATER... ~

Sherlock: What the hell...?

Sherlock: OKAY WHO HANDCUFFED ME TO A CHAIR

(y/n): LOL!

Mycroft: :D

John: lolol

Lestrade: HAHAHAHAHA

Sherlock: I hate you all.

(y/n): We know.

Lestrade: Now what? Should we just leave him there?

(y/n): Yep.

(y/n) has logged off.

Lestrade has logged off.

Sherlock: DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME HERE--

Moriarty has logged off.

Mary has logged off.

John has logged off.

Mycroft has logged off.

Sherlock: Dammit

Sherlock has logged off.


	9. Alcohol and Cake Tattoos

A/N: So, before this starts, I want to let you know that you are all working on a really difficult case early in the morning at Scotland Yard.  
So let the game begin!

(y/n) has logged on.

(y/n) has started a chatroom.

Lestrade has logged on.

Sherlock has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

John has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

John: Ugh I hate my life. Why are we still here? We've been up all night!

Lestrade: Sherlock, can't we just take a break? We've been up for more than two days!

Sherlock: THERE HAS TO BE A CONNECTION SOMEWHERE

John: Remind me why I'm friends with you?

(y/n): Guys, I brought coffee.

*loading, too many messages sent at once*

Lestrade: YOU'RE AMAZING (Y/N)

John: YOU'RE A LIFE SAVER

Sherlock: THANK GOD

Mycroft: THANK YOU (Y/N)

(y/n): No problem.

Moriarty has sent a private message to (y/n).  
*Did you drug the coffee like we talked about?*

(y/n) has sent a private message to Moriarty.  
*Yep! They're all gonna get drunk as hell.*

Moriarty: > : )

Lestrade: What are you two up to?

(y/n): Nothing.

Sherlock: This coffee tastes different.

(y/n): Should I tell them?

Moriarty: Yeah, I bet Sherlock has already figured it out.

Lestrade: Figured out what?

(y/n): We decided to do a little experiment...

Mycroft: (y/n), what did you put in the coffee?

(y/n): Alcohol.

Lestrade: *facepalm*

John: (y/n), we won't be able to get drunk - we've only had a few sips.

(y/n): I know. That's why there's 80% alcohol in it. (A/N: Is that a lot? I don't know)

Sherlock: *spits out coffee*

John: Well that's just great.

Lestrade: How long until we start acting like idiots?

(y/n): About five minutes.

~ ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER... ~

Sherlock: MYCROFT STOP HUGGING ME

Mycroft: BUT SHERLY I LOVE YOU

(y/n): Awww

Lestrade: I SIP IT

Lestrade: *I SHIP ITT

Lestrade: *I SSIHP IT

Lestrade: GODDAMMIT INTERNET

(y/n): I'm filming this.

Moriarty: We are brilliant.

(y/n): Why yes we are.

Lestrade: HEYY GUYSSS

(y/n): *Hey *Guys

Lestrade: AUGH GRAMMAR NAZI

Sherlock: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!

Mycroft: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!

John: RUN GRAHAM RUN

Moriarty: Who the hell is Graham?

(y/n): I think they're talking about Greg.

Lestrade: GUYS MY NAME IS GREG! GOSH

Sherlock: 0_0 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH GRAHAM

Moriarty: He killed him.

Sherlock: NOOOO!!!!

(y/n): LOL!

Sherlock: WE WILL AVENGE YOU GRAHAM

John: YOUR DEATH WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN

Lestrade: guyyss im right hereee

Mycroft: AUGH! ZOMBIE GRAHAM!

Sherlock: KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!

(y/n): Oh, this is so going online.

Lestrade: OH NO! THE GRAMMAR NAZI HAS RETURNED!

Sherlock: KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

(y/n): wait what

Moriarty: lol!

(y/n): Dammit Jim! This isn't funn-- OH DEAR LORD SHERLOCK HAS A FREAKING BLOWTORCH

Moriarty: WHAT?

(y/n): WHERE'D HE GET A FREAKING BLOWTORCH?!

Sherlock: I WILL AVENGE THE DEATH OF GRAHAM, YOU STUPID GRAMMAR NAZI! I WILL AVENGE THE BRITISH NATION!

Moriarty: Ewww this is getting all mushy...

(y/n): JIM HELP ME

Moriarty: Why?

(y/n): BECAUSE SHERLOCK HOLMES IS TRYING TO KILL ME WITH A BLOWTORCH, THAT'S WHY!

(y/n): I'M GONNA HIDE AT THE FLAT

Moriarty: Okay, I'll come over there to protect you--

Mycroft: THE GRAMMAR NAZI HAS A PARTNER!

John: HE MUST DIE TOO! KILL HIM WITH FIRE!

Moriarty: Shit.

(y/n): I'm barricading the door.

Moriarty: This was a horrible idea!

(y/n): Yes, I'm starting to see that now!

Mrs. Hudson has logged on.

Mrs. Hudson: I think there's something wrong with Sherlock. Should I let him in?

Moriarty: NO!

(y/n): NO!

Sherlock: YES!

(y/n): Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock is drunk and is trying to kill us with a blowtorch.

Sherlock: I WILL AVENGE GRAHAM'S DEATH

Mrs. Hudson: Who is Graham?

(y/n): I have no idea.

Mrs. Hudson: Uh, (y/n) dear, it looks like Sherlock, John and Lestrade are passed out on the sidewalk.

(y/n): Okay, we can let them in.

Moriarty: AND HIDE THE BLOWTORCH!

~ A FEW MINUTES LATER ~

Mycroft: (YYY/NNN)

Moriarty: Okay, what are we supposed to do with a drunk Mycroft?

(y/n): No idea.

Mycroft: (YYY/NNN)

(y/n): Yeah? 

Mycroft has sent a private message to (y/n).

(y/n): Really?

Mycroft: *drunkenly nods*

(y/n): Okay, let's go.

Moriarty: Where are we going?

(y/n): You'll see.

~ ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATER ~

Moriarty: I am so filming this.

(y/n): Mycroft, are you sure you want to get a tattoo?

Mycroft: YESH

(y/n): I don't know about this...

Moriarty: Who cares?

~ THE NEXT MORNING ~

Mycroft has logged on.

Mycroft has started a chatroom.

Sherlock has logged on.

John has logged on.

(y/n) has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

Sherlock: Ugh my head hurts...

Lestrade: I need Aspirin

John: What happened yesterday?

Mycroft: WHY DO I HAVE A TATTOO ON MY SHOULDER?!?!

(y/n): Oh, so you saw that...

Mycroft: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!

(y/n): Oh you did that all to yourself.

(y/n) has posted a video.

Sherlock: lololol!

Lestrade: hahahahaha

John: Oh my gosh! :D

Mycroft: ...

(y/n): So do you like it?

Mycroft: It's a picture of a cake and it says 'the cake is a lie' under it!

(y/n): Well, originally you just wanted the cake, but Moriarty paid the guy extra to add the cake is a lie part.

Mycroft: I hate my life.

Sherlock: *scrolling through the chatroom history*

Sherlock: Dear mother of God, what have we done?

Sherlock has logged off.

Mycroft has logged off.

Moriarty has logged off.

(y/n) has logged off.

Lestrade has logged off.

John has logged off.

Chatroom has closed.


	10. John Gets Bribed

Sherlock has logged on.

Sherlock has started a chatroom.

John has logged on.

Sherlock: John I'm bored.

Sherlock: Are you still at your meeting?

Sherlock: You're a doctor, why do you have a meeting?

Sherlock: Borrred.

Sherlock: Have you brought your gun?

Sherlock: I know I said I don't like your boss, but really. This is insane.

Sherlock: Lestrade is annoying me.

Sherlock: I've found a mouse.

John: A mouse?

Sherlock: Yes, John. A small rodent.

Sherlock: Come home or I'll put it in the microwave.

Sherlock: Jaaaaawwwn

John: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO PUT THAT MOUSE IN THE MICROWAVE

Sherlock: Come back and the mouse lives.

John: I can't believe I'm being bribed with a mouse.

Sherlock: Is your old girlfriend there?

John: Sherlock, that was a long time ago, but yes. Why?

Sherlock: She has a husband, and she killed one of her cats when she was thirteen.

John: What?

Sherlock: Yes John, a husband. Do catch up.

John: How do you know?

Sherlock: She has a band-shaped indent on her ring finger - too fresh for her to have removed a ring a long time ago. I noticed when she came by yesterday to, using her words, "visit an old friend". Child's play, really.

John: Right. I'm making up excuses to leave.

Sherlock: Do hurry. The mouse is struggling.

John: I'm in a taxi right now.

Sherlock: I've put it in the blender for the time being.

(y/n) has logged on.

John: WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TURN THE BLENDER ON!

(y/n): Oh no, what did Sherlock do this time?

John: I was at a meeting, and Sherlock was bored and wanted me to come back, so he decided to put a mouse in the blender.

(y/n): Jesus, Sherlock!

Sherlock: If you don't get here soon, I'll turn the blender on.

John: DON'T YOU DARE

Sherlock: And I'll leave the top off.

John: DRIVE FASTER! I DON'T CARE IF THERE IS A SPEED LIMIT! DRIVE!

(y/n): The taxi driver better listen. He won't want to face the wrath of John!

Sherlock: I'm about to press the button.

John: NO! DON'T!

John: OKAY! I'M HERE!

John: Oh my god

(y/n): John? What's going on? He didn't press the button did he?

John: Where's the mouse?

Sherlock: There is none.

John: That was all a lie, wasn't it?

Sherlock: Yes.

(y/n): LOL

John: *facepalm*

Sherlock: An elementary one, too. Surprised you didn't see through it.

John: Okay, I'm here. What do you want?

Sherlock: Can I borrow your phone?

John: GODDAMMIT SHERLOCK

~Extended Ending~

John: Wait, weren't you using your phone to text me?

Sherlock: Yes.

John: Then why do you need mine?

Sherlock: I ran out of minutes about 10 minutes ago. I think we need to pay around 250 pounds more for the texts I sent you.

John: Dammit, Sherlock!


	11. Dates and Doctor Who

A/N: Okay, so for this one only, let's pretend that John hasn't met Mary yet and (y/n) hasn't met Mycroft yet. Oh and no one knows Moriarty yet. Yes, it's a lot to remember, but if you don't the chatroom won't make any sense. So now that's said... let the game begin!

(y/n) has logged on.

(y/n) has started a chatroom.

Sherlock has logged on.

Sherlock: BOOORRRREEEDDD

(y/n): Yes, I know, Sherlock

(y/n): What the--- ARE YOU SHOOTING THE WALL AGAIN?!

Sherlock: The wall had it coming.

John has logged on.

Sherlock: Finally! It took you long enough.

Sherlock: Where are you anyway?

John: I'm on a date.

(y/n): Then why are you on here?

Sherlock: We can only assume it's gone horribly wrong.

John: No it hasn't, I'm waiting for her.

~ 10 Minutes Later ~

John: Hmm... she said she would be back soon...

(y/n): Did she say she was going to the bathroom?

John: Yeah, why?

(y/n): ...

Sherlock: ...

(y/n): She's not coming back...

Sherlock: Yeah...

John: Dammit

Lestrade has logged on.

Lestrade: Guys, there's been a murder a few blocks away.

Sherlock: FINALLY A CASE

Sherlock has logged off.

Lestrade has logged off.

John: I'm coming, hold on

John has logged off.

(y/n): ...

(y/n): BORED

Anonymous has logged on.

(y/n): the hell...?

Anonymous: Get in the car.

(y/n): What? Why?

Anonymous: Because.

(y/n): ugh i don't wanna

Anonymous: It wouldn't be wise to ignore me.

(y/n): yeah well i'm really comfy in this chair right now

(y/n): plus Doctor Who is on right now

(y/n): so....

Anonymous: I said to get in the car.

(y/n): LOL

Anonymous: You're not very good at listening.

(y/n): And you're not very good at telling people what to do.

Anonymous: How should I get you in the car, then?

(y/n): I don't know, bribery or something? IDK

Anonymous: You don't seem very sure.

(y/n): Then why are you asking me?

(y/n): Why are you here, anyway? What do you want?

Anonymous: What is your relationship with Sherlock Holmes?

(y/n): We're friends. Who are you?

Anonymous: Just an interested party.

(y/n): Dude, you're supposed to be mysterious. Right now you're just coming off as boring.

Anonymous: Will you get in the car or not?!

(y/n): Hmmmmmmmm no

(y/n): Wait! I have an idea!

Anonymous: What would that be?

(y/n): We should play a game!

Anonymous: You're kidding.

(y/n): Hey, I said I was bored.

Anonymous: Alright, fine. What would we do in this "game"?

(y/n): Easy. You only have to answer one question.

Anonymous: Okay.

(y/n): Are you Mycroft?

Anonymous: ...

Anonymous has logged off.

(y/n): knew it

Jim has logged on.

(y/n): Oh gawd not again

Jim: Wait, what?

(y/n): Who the hell are you?!

Jim: Oh gosh! I'm sorry, I must have logged on the wrong chatroom...

(y/n): Yeah, I think so. What chatroom are you looking for?

Jim: The Doctor Who Fanclub chatroom.

(y/n): Wait... you watch Doctor Who?!

Jim: Yeah, why?

(y/n): I WATCH IT TOO!

Jim: :D NO WAY!!

(y/n): YEAH! WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE DOCTOR?!

Jim: (y/f/d) (A/N: your favorite doctor)

(y/n): OHMYGOD! ME TOO!

~ 3 Hours Later ~

(y/n): AND OH MY GOD, WHEN HE REGENERATED!

Jim: OMIGOD! THAT WAS SO SAD! I CRIED MY EYES OUT!

(y/n): I KNOW!

Sherlock has logged on.

John has logged on.

John: What's going on?

Sherlock: I think (y/n) has met another Doctor Who fan.

John: Well shit

John has logged off.

Sherlock has logged off.

(y/n) has logged off.

Jim has logged off.

Chatroom has closed.


	12. Never Make Moriarty Mad

(y/n) has logged on.

(y/n) has started a chatroom.

Sherlock has logged on.

John has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Lestrade has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

Moriarty: Hey guys~

(y/n): Hey Jim! How are ya?

Sherlock: 0_0

John: 0_0

Mycroft: 0_0

John: (y/n)... why do you know Moriarty?

(y/n): We both love Doctor Who.

John: *facepalm*

Lestrade: How on earth did you two meet?!

(y/n): Comic con!

Lestrade: You've got to be kidding me

John: You're saying that you've been in contact with him?

(y/n): Yeah. So?

John: He's a criminal mastermind!

(y/n): But he's funny!

John: HE'S KILLED PEOPLE

(y/n): HE'S INTERESTING

Moriarty: Uh, I'm right here, you know.

John: SHUT UP, I'M TALKING

(y/n): 0_0

Sherlock: 0_0

Mycroft: 0_0

John: ...

John: Uh oh

Moriarty: What'd you say

John: NOTHING

Sherlock: He told you to shut up--

John: Sherlock, now is not the time

Moriarty: > : (

John: time to go

John has logged off.

Moriarty: Get back here you little shit

Moriarty has logged off.

(y/n): What have we started

~ ~ ~ Later ~ ~ ~

(y/n): Guys! I have an idea!

Sherlock: For what?

(y/n): About how we can talk Moriarty out of killing John

Lestrade: What's your idea?

(y/n): Sebastian!

Lestrade: Who?

(y/n): Sebastian Moran! He's Moriarty's assistant.

(A/N: Yeah, they haven't put him in the show. But he's in the books)

Sherlock: Moriarty has an assistant?

(y/n): Yeah.

Sherlock: And youRE WAITING UNTIL NOW TO TELL US

(y/n): It never came up!

Lestrade: Okay, okay. Children, calm down.

Sherlock: ...

(y/n): ...

Lestrade: (y/n), do you think Sebastian can talk him out of it?

(y/n): Yeah.

Lestrade: Okay, then call him.

~ ~ ~ A few minutes later ~ ~ ~

Sebastian has logged on.

(y/n): Sebby!

Sherlock: LOL

(y/n): Shut up

(y/n): Sherly

Mycroft: hahaha

Sherlock: ...

(y/n): Or shezza

(y/n): Man there's so much material here

(y/n): I can't decide

Sherlock: Shut up

Sebastian: So... what's going on? Are we doing another Call of Duty marathon?

Sherlock: You play Call of Duty with him?!

(y/n): WHAT?! I needed a parter!

(y/n): And no, Sebastian, we can't play Call of Duty right now.

Sebastian: Aww...

(y/n): See, your boss is trying to kill John

Sebastian: What? Why?

(y/n): He told him to shut up.

Sebastian: Ah. Hold on.

Sebastian has logged off.

~ ~ ~ Later ~ ~ ~

Sebastian has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

John has logged on.

Sebastian: Truce?

John: Sure

Moriarty: no

Sebastian: *looks at jim like i-dont-care-what-you-think-so-god-help-me-if-you-dont-agree-with-me-i-will-throw-you-out-a-window*

Moriarty: Ugh fine

(y/n): Okay so everything's good then?

John: Yeah

(y/n): That's a relief

John: Agreed.

(y/n): You know, I really like this chatroom.

John: Why's that?

(y/n): Cause we can all talk. Plus, I don't have to hear Jim's annoying Irish accent. Lol!

Moriarty: wHAT

(y/n): OH SHIT

(y/n) has logged off.

Moriarty has logged off.

Sherlock has logged off.

Mary has logged off.

John has logged off.

Mycroft has logged off.

Chatroom has closed.

(A/N: Irish accents are actually really awesome, but I put that in there to make Moriarty mad again. Sorry, Jim. We love you! Sort of.)


	13. Sherlock Being Bored is a Dangerous Thing

Sherlock has logged on.

Sherlock has started a chatroom.

(y/n) has logged on.

Mycroft has logged on.

Moriarty has logged on.

John has logged on.

Mary has logged on.

Greg has logged on.

Greg: Hey guys!

Sherlock: Who the fuck are you

Greg: *sigh*

Greg has changed his name to Lestrade.

Lestrade: Hi

Sherlock: Oh, hi Lestrade

(y/n): *facepalm*

Sherlock: I'm glad you're here. Some stranger named Greg was here

Lestrade: I hate you

Sherlock: ???

John: Oh my god, Sherlock. His name is Greg. Greg Lestrade.

Sherlock: Really? I could have sworn it was Graham.

Mycroft: You're all idiots. His name is Grant.

Lestrade: OH MY GOD, MY NAME IS GREG. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO CLARIFY THIS?!

Sherlock: Sorry, George

Lestrade: I hate you

(y/n): Didn't you already say that?

Lestrade: Yeah, but it seemed like it was worth repeating

John: Okay, moving on. What do you want, Sherlock?

Sherlock: Bored

John: Okay, I'm leaving

John has logged off.

Mary: WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THESE PEOPLE

Mary has logged off.

Sherlock: ...

Sherlock: Still bored

Lestrade: Okay, fine. One prostitute dead. Three gum wrappers near the body. Figure it out.

Sherlock: Obvious, and not worth my time

Lestrade: Hmm... what's the best way to murder a detective with a bad habit of disturbing police at work and get away with it?

Sherlock: Again, obvious

Sherlock: Please tell me you have an interesting case again. I'm so bored I could jump off Barts Hospital

(y/n): Jesus, Sherlock! You didn't need to go there

Sherlock: My god, you're all so sentimental. I'm alive. I'm fine.

(y/n): Bloody mental, is what you are

Sherlock: Screw you

(y/n): Not interested

Sherlock: ...

Lestrade: 0_0

Moriarty: Oh buurrrrnnn

(y/n): Bloody hell, how long have you been here?!

Moriarty: The entire time. Sherlock invited me

Lestrade: Sherlock, he's a criminal mastermind! Why did you invite him?

Sherlock: Bored

Lestrade: Of course...

Sherlock: Seriously, Gabe-

Lestrade: It's Greg.

Sherlock: Whatever. Do you have anything interesting? Either you give me a good case or I'll have to resort to burning John' cardigans

John has logged on.

John: DO NOT BURN MY CARDIGANS.

John has logged off.

Sherlock: ...

(y/n): If you're going to burn them, make sure you take care of the blue one

Mycroft: Yes, I agree with (y/n). I've seen the blue one, it's hideous.

Sherlock: What do you think, Gavin?

Lestrade: Yeah, sure. But my name is GREG.

Sherlock: Okay, Gable

Lestrade: I swear, you're doing that on purpose

Sherlock: ...

Sherlock: Are you seriously still working on that gum wrappers case? The answer is so obvious, even your lot should be able to figure it out.

Lestrade: *sigh*

~~~~~

John has logged on.

John: WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BLUE CARDIGAN?!

~~~~~

(A/N: The stuff below is a mini-story. Remember when Sherlock texted the word 'Lazarus' before he fell, and Mycroft responded with 'Lazarus is go'? Well, here's an alternate thing that I just had to write down.)

Sherlock: LAZARUS

Mycroft: LIZARD PISS IS GO

Sherlock: WAIT, WHAT

Mycroft: LAZY RUST IS GO

Mycroft: DAMN YOU, AUTOCORRECT

Mycroft: DON'T JUMP UNTIL I SPELL IT RIGHT

Sherlock: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING

Mycroft: TELL JOHN TO STAY PUT

Mycroft: I CAN DO THIS

Mycroft: LEAGUES R US IS GO

Mycroft: AUGH

Sherlock: I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND JUMP NOW

Mycroft: FINE


End file.
